Amanda, 24, Utah, US

12249722_507240129450515_2828724253682129399_n“I have suffered from major anxiety, panic attacks, and depression my whole life. I also have epilepsy which causes these all to be worse and causes me to forget, can’t find words, and stutter.

As a child I remember as young as 7, throwing up due to my anxiety. I have never not struggled!

After having my beautiful son, I didn’t take care of myself the way I should of. My anxiety got to a point that I couldn’t even leave my house. The door bell ringing sent me into an anxiety attack. Thinking about driving was almost too much. I had literally one reason to keep moving forward.

It took me 2 years of pill trials, working hard, and a great husband at the time. I ended up in the ER with panic attacks. I missed out on many things the first 2 years of my son’s life and also don’t remember much.

Everyone always tells me I am always upbeat and cracking jokes when many times I am dying inside.
In the past, I have had many days lived in bed or pushing myself to do what I absolutely had to. Many days talking myself into making in through the day. Many, many extra hours of sleeping. Hating the way I was living but no way out.

I have learned what to do to calm myself during attacks. Little things like sing a song in my head, run my tongue on my teeth, count letters, and touch each finger to my thumb, during attacks when your heart is beating out of your chest… if you say heart beat, heart beat. In the rhythm, your heart should beat that REALLY helps.

I will never be fully healthy but I am HAPPY. There is a light ♡”

 

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