Bonnie, 12, UK

12227061_506874186153776_405879994726093844_n“I have been bullied for as long as I can remember. It used to upset me a lot but when I started secondary school, it got a lot worse. I was being told to kill myself and started to become more and more depressed.
I got into self-harm around Christmas 2014 and it got out of hand very very quick. I was terrified my family would hate me if they found out so I kind of became a bit of a recluse. But April 2015 and my family found out about me and it wasn’t all good.

Most people told me they would help me recover but parts of my family did not know how to react. This has meant there are parts of my family I haven’t spoken too since April which makes me sad but what can I do?

So, I stopped for a little but. Started Recovery just before Sumer break, I had a full 2 months clean, I went swimming for the first time in months with my friends, I didn’t go out allot, but I went out none the less!
I was doing really well until September 2015 I hit a full blown relapse.i was being bullied worse than I had ever been before which left me with depression, social anxiety, panic attacks and a counsellor.

I was so bad that in October 2015 I tried to kill myself. I soon got taken out of school and got more regular counselor visits.
Now I am recovering, I was almost put on medication but I started to get better at just the right time. I still struggle a lot and I am very self-conscious however with the help of my girlfriend, friends and family I am becoming normal again.

 
In an attempt to help others, after my own ordeal, I set up my anti-suicide Instagram which is now an account I couldn’t live without. If I do happen to have particularly depressing days I tend to cope with piano, clarinet or I make YouTube videos, to express my feelings to others and I spend a lot of time helping others who are in my previous situation.

I often still do feel the urge to self-harm also, but I’m getting stronger. I threw out everything triggering and changed my life for the better.

I’m not happy about my past but I’m very happy, about my future.”

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