“Depression has been a part of me for the last 6 years or so.
It all actually started when I was a little girl, 6 or 7. I began to feel lonely and sad. And I used to tell my mom about the big black hole that I felt in my chest.
Since that age, my anxiety started as well. I was scared for school. And even then the pressure was too much for me. I gained a lot of weight and also got bullied because of that. My self-esteem began to sink. I started to hate myself, a lot.
I was diagnosed with social anxiety at age 12 or so. I also started self-harming, because of all the self-hate I had. I hid everything for a couple of years. I began to feel suicidal as well.
But in 2013 it actually started. I was diagnosed with a chronic disease in my colon, ulcerative colitis. I was very sick. I was hospitalized for more than a month. It was pretty bad. I couldn’t go to school anymore, I lost a lot of friends, and my parents got divorced. All in 1 year. Everything only got worse for me mentally. It all felt useless and hopeless.
But, I got help.
I have every day care and help. I even got send to a mental hospital for a month. But I needed it. I would not be here today if I kept all these feelings for myself.
Talking is the key. You need to be strong and tell someone how you feel. You need to find help. It may seem hopeless, but there are people who love you. And you can’t give up. Ever. Not just for those people, but also for yourself.
You are worthy. I’m still not better, at all actually. But I’ll keep on hoping. You Just need to keep swimming. “
