“I have been suffering from major psychotic depression, which is the hardest thing for me in life. Also, suffer from body dysmorphic disorder, however, the doctors still think they still haven’t got the full answer.
I suffer greatly; hear voices, and see things that I KNOW just are not there, but they seem SO real to me!
This has been going on for nearly two years now, I went through a lot of bullying during infant school, physically being left for dead, laid unconscious on the ground.
I have been diagnosed with the depression I have mentioned above, but I also suffer from severe anxiety myself. But, the thing is people mention I seem to be like the classic bipolar sufferer… But I more fit the criteria for BPD, self-diagnosing, which I’m not but I’m just trying to help myself understand why I feel the way I do.
I self-harm nearly every day, and actually right at this moment in time living inpatient at a psychiatric hospital in my hometown. I was under a section at first, after attempting many suicides. But I am now staying here voluntarily.
My main fear is definitely the future, and I feel so ashamed because I know there are WORSE people out there than me. But, I am afraid things that have happened to me in the past will happen to me again in the future.. (Sexual assault, and harassment); however, there is a part of me that WANTS to keep going.
I know we can all recover, and we can all go far; bright futures lay ahead of us, and there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.”