“I have suffered depression from the very young age of around 8 or 9 years old. Many years of suffering in silence and learning the darkest depths of the illness, I found myself walking a lonely road where my life consisted of nothingness, self-hate and an ill mind that was obsessed with finding an escape or becoming self-destructive.
I attempted to take my own life when I was 18. As a self-harmer since the age of 12, nothing I tried seemed to help me cope for long enough and I genuinely believed this illness would kill me.
Trying to live a life like everyone around me as well as fighting a constant battle that was always one sided was exhausting.
Honestly, it destroyed me, I was merely a shell of a person for some years with nothing about me, no character, no passion, no hobbies or fears.
I was lucky to be found in time, surviving the suicide attempt. It was then that I decided to dedicate my life to the recovery of myself and others. Helping other people has been my motivation to keep strong. I can only be there for my ‘wandering hearts’ if I’m strong enough by myself first. For me, helping others helps me (and meds are kind of like my arm bands keeping me afloat).
I’ve been lucky to meet some incredible people on this journey and it has allowed me to open my heart to so much more people than I believe I otherwise would have done.
Suffering depression is beyond frightening. It is a lonely, dark, hellish existence that I know first hand. But coming out of the other end is like walking into light after living in a tunnel for as long as you can remember. And despite how much I didn’t believe it possible, recovery can and will happen for you.
My blog: www.thewanderingheartsclub@wordpress.com”
