Zahra, 15, Indonesia

IMG_0190“I already felt depressed when I was 12 but I started to self-harm when I was 14, it’s hard to live when all you think is die and die.

I got bullied when I’m in junior high school, people always call me fat, ugly and stuff. I started to believe them tho. And my friend forced me to tell my parents, so I told them. I didn’t expect their reaction could be like that, they were crying. That’s the first time I saw my mom crying, ever. They trying to help me like send me to psychology and etc, but it doesn’t help at all.
They used to not care at all about me, I think its too late for now.

I tried to overdose once, sadly I failed. After that, almost all of my friends avoid me until now. They think I’m crazy and stuff. And my sister always thinks I’m bad. She always told me that I’m fat as hell, that I need to diet. She even tells me that I just waste everyone time. I don’t talk to her much now.

And I have a very bad anxiety, I can’t talk to new people without crying. So I quit school for 1 year now, I think I have to homeschool.

You’re not alone, I swear you’re not. It might be so hard right now, but I believe you all can do it!! If I can stay alive until now, you can too. If people leave you, it’s not your fault. You gotta find another friend that will stick with you because they need you like you need them.

It’s okay not to be okay, but it’s not okay to give up.

Please hold on, I hope miracles will come to all of us. I believe one day you’ll be happy, I’ll be happy. Just hold on:) “

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