“I have bipolar disorder. For as long as I can remember I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, mania, and mixed episodes.
I always played victim to my disorder, thinking to myself, “what will people think of me if they know.” On the outside, I’m a happy-go-lucky young woman, with a wonderful life.
The truth is, I’ve been through hell and back. I always knew my mind worked in a very mysterious way, and I have learned to accept my bipolar disorder although I will never understand it.
Well, three weeks ago I was in the midst of an awful mixed episode. I admitted myself to a psychiatric hospital, and that was the bravest thing I’ve ever done.
Recovery from this episode has been difficult, but I am a fighter. I will no longer be quiet. I will no longer keep my mouth shut about mental illness.
Going to the hospital made me realize my purpose on this Earth- I am going to spend every single one of my days trying to end the stigma.
I take my meds regularly and try to eat as clean as possible. I’ve realized that when I eat healthily, my overall well-being is better. Meditation really helps stabilize bipolar disorder so I try to at least once a day. Working out has helped me so much. I do Crossfit and the stronger I get physically, the stronger I get mentally and emotionally. The more barriers I push through while training, the stronger I become in the outside world.
Bipolar disorder is mine and it’s mine for life so I am determined to conquer it and live an amazing life. It is both a blessing and a curse, I feel everything so deeply. I no longer feel sorry for myself because I am gifted.
You are all beautiful, and none of you are alone.”
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