Mallory, 21, US

12341349_514989485342246_7422748703523467418_n

“I’ve lived with anxiety my entire life. I remember as a child, having panic attacks when my parents would introduce me to new people. I would cry, get angry, and in turn, they would punish me for being “rude”. Of course, there was no way they could have known then that I had a mental illness.

Once I grew into a teenager, depression decided to join the party, along with a toxic group of friends who belittled me for being “quiet” and “weird” I just accepted the fact that I didn’t fit in.

In high school, I discovered that I had a passion for the arts. Theatre was my outlet of choice. I finally found some friends who didn’t treat me like I was an outcast that they were taking pity on.
Once we graduated, I was back to square one. Everyone moved off to start a new life and I was so alone that I found it impossible to leave my bed most days. The panic attacks came daily and the depression would keep me up at night. My mom said getting a job would help me feel accomplished or give me the push I needed.

Since working and going to college full time, I have discovered my limits. I have found that I am not meant for a 9-5 Monday through Friday routine, I am supposed to do something more.
I took up yoga and meditation for the anxiety. The panic attacks are now weekly and my depression takes breaks now for days and weeks at a time.
I have never been on medication for my illness because it scares me to think about being dependent on a pill. I would rather depend on myself. I’ve started blogging and practicing yoga every day.

I feel as if my purpose has finally been realized and my mental illness cannot hold me back any longer. There will be bad days, I know that, but as long as I don’t let those days define my life, I know I will be happy.”

 

——————————————————————————————

PATREON’s THIS MONTH:

Stuart, https://www.flickr.com/photos/74009/

Harry, https://mindlessmuso.wordpress.com

Help the page to exist; Become a patreon! https://www.patreon.com/ThisIsWhatAPersonWithMentalIllnessLooksLike?ty=h

 

2 thoughts on “Mallory, 21, US

  1. I also have had anxiety for years and have always been considered weird. I was looking back on photos of myself when I was a teen and I NEVER smiled in any of them .Even my church pastor commented what a pretty girl I was but I wouldn’t let anyone get close to me. At the time I didn’t understand myself.I was very passive and had low self esteem. This affected some choices I made in life really bad. I still suffer everyday. I didnt feel accepted at a church h I had been attending so I left and found a better more living church and even made a couple friends.So far so good,but I’m notorious for not maintaining friendships due to depression also. But I’m not giving up.Lonines is a terrible thing.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s