Mallory, 21, US

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“I’ve lived with anxiety my entire life. I remember as a child, having panic attacks when my parents would introduce me to new people. I would cry, get angry, and in turn, they would punish me for being “rude”. Of course, there was no way they could have known then that I had a mental illness.

Once I grew into a teenager, depression decided to join the party, along with a toxic group of friends who belittled me for being “quiet” and “weird” I just accepted the fact that I didn’t fit in.

In high school, I discovered that I had a passion for the arts. Theatre was my outlet of choice. I finally found some friends who didn’t treat me like I was an outcast that they were taking pity on.
Once we graduated, I was back to square one. Everyone moved off to start a new life and I was so alone that I found it impossible to leave my bed most days. The panic attacks came daily and the depression would keep me up at night. My mom said getting a job would help me feel accomplished or give me the push I needed.

Since working and going to college full time, I have discovered my limits. I have found that I am not meant for a 9-5 Monday through Friday routine, I am supposed to do something more.
I took up yoga and meditation for the anxiety. The panic attacks are now weekly and my depression takes breaks now for days and weeks at a time.
I have never been on medication for my illness because it scares me to think about being dependent on a pill. I would rather depend on myself. I’ve started blogging and practicing yoga every day.

I feel as if my purpose has finally been realized and my mental illness cannot hold me back any longer. There will be bad days, I know that, but as long as I don’t let those days define my life, I know I will be happy.”

 

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PATREON’s THIS MONTH:

Stuart, https://www.flickr.com/photos/74009/

Harry, https://mindlessmuso.wordpress.com

Help the page to exist; Become a patreon! https://www.patreon.com/ThisIsWhatAPersonWithMentalIllnessLooksLike?ty=h

 

2 thoughts on “Mallory, 21, US

  1. Well wrote Mallory,from one who suffers from anxiety too,at times not as bad as in the past,my depression can be far worse,good for you,and well done for tackling it head on.I hope you are well today.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I also have had anxiety for years and have always been considered weird. I was looking back on photos of myself when I was a teen and I NEVER smiled in any of them .Even my church pastor commented what a pretty girl I was but I wouldn’t let anyone get close to me. At the time I didn’t understand myself.I was very passive and had low self esteem. This affected some choices I made in life really bad. I still suffer everyday. I didnt feel accepted at a church h I had been attending so I left and found a better more living church and even made a couple friends.So far so good,but I’m notorious for not maintaining friendships due to depression also. But I’m not giving up.Lonines is a terrible thing.

    Liked by 2 people

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