“I have fought with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem for around 5 yrs, and for a long time in silence.
I was in an abusive relationship which I kept a secret because of beliefs that nobody cared. After 1yr an assault that gained police attention brought an end to it, but for months I continued to keep the pain of the truth to myself.
The mental and emotional scars got worse every day. It affected my moods and started to ruin relationships with my loved ones causing my home life to go downhill. I’ve done everything I could to hide it. The more depressed I became the more I pushed people away, only causing me to become more isolated.
I cried all the time, would have days where I couldn’t get out of bed, I was terrified to go outside, negative thoughts of myself filled my mind, caused me to become obsessed with my image and go weeks where I hardly ate. I dropped out of uni and felt that I had lost complete control.
In early 2015 I began to experience suicidal thoughts, at first just occasionally, but soon enough every day… eventually, I was hospitalized after trying to commit suicide and that was the first time I spoke out about my pain.
Speaking out was the biggest and best step I ever took. Speaking out saved my life.
Since then, I have received professional help, as well as constant support from my family and friends and taken up many self-help strategies which I try to practice daily.
I no longer suffer from depression, but my daily battle with anxiety and low self-esteem are ongoing. I have good days and I have awful days, but I have learned that I can survive.. These things do not define me and I go to war with every bad day and I am thankful for every good one.
For a long time I couldn’t speak about my illness or my experiences but now speaking out is what drives me. Speaking out is what saved my life and now each time I speak about my battles I do so with the hope that it may help to save somebody else’s. I am now a trainee nurse soon to be specialising in mental health. I seek peace daily by finding ways to help others and I am learning every day to love myself a little more.
You are not alone. It gets better, I’m proof.. and we must continue to fight, for life 💖”
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