“I suffer from schizophrenia and depression. It all started from quite a young age I used to go from feeling really good then straight to feeling angry and depressed!
This has caused a lot of family and friends issues with some not understanding or knowing what to do to help. I’ve had constant hospital admissions due to me not being able to cope as I was always putting on a false front to my friends and family that I am ok because I didn’t want anyone else to be affected and walk away but really I wasn’t ok.
I started finding it hard to hold my feelings in and that then triggered the anxiety I didn’t want to go out because I thought that people can see that I’m putting on a front which caused paranoia and a whole range of problems for me.
A more positive bit is that my life got so much better when I got married and tried to focus on the positive things in life but it’s always still a daily battle for me! I have had to distance myself from stuff that will bring me down but it’s hard when it’s the people/friends you have been with most of our years from a teenager, but I’m opening up to more people to help them understand me better which does help!
The main thing I would say is if you can and you feel able to open up a little then you should try because now I am starting to make steps to share my stories and the positive responses I have had have been so motivating for me! I suffered in silence for years and had many ups and downs but I’m trying to work through it and rebuild bridges.
I have made a new Instagram page which I put a few things on I find it helps to speak out and just vent sometimes! I also write lyrics about my experiences and always feel good when I play it back and know that I have achieved something positive rather than being anxious everyday that I can’t do this and I can’t do that because day by day I’m starting to prove to myself, “actually Jake you can”.
I have a baby boy on the way now as well and that has given me the biggest boost of all more than any medication ever has and my main focus is to keep well for him and be able to maintain family life and try and live with this illness rather than hide it and fight it!! My little man’s not even born yet but he has changed my life already and definitely be my main priority along with family and my health.”
Kay’s NEW BLOG www.kayska.com
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