“As a child, I was always difficult to feed. I never wanted anything to eat and my mom didn’t even know how to make me maintain my weight.
At the age of 8, I was sexually abused. Because of the abuse, I got PTSD. After that, I felt like I had to take control over something in my life. I started restricting food. And it worked for a few years.
As I became a teenager I was desperate to lose weight. I started searching for tips and tricks to lose weight quickly. I came across a website full of skinny girls. After a while, my body was so starved and I started bingeing. I felt like it was out of control.
When I was 19 I met the love of my life. I moved into his apartment and at that point, I started restricting food again. I got so sick that I almost died just because of dehydration. My body was so weak. Magically I became pregnant when I was at my lowest weight. I started eating more and at some point, I actually started to like my body. Two months before my due date I saw my reflection in the mirror and I just couldn’t handle looking like a whale.
I relapsed and when my son was born I lost so much weight that friends and family started worrying about me. I tried to beat my ED and lived in the moment for a while. One day I fell down the stairs and my knee got really bad. I couldn’t walk for almost two months and I got panic for gaining more weight. I relapsed again and dropped almost all of my recovery weight.
Now I’m trying my hardest to fight for my life and stay healthy.”