“It started back at the age of 18 I was smoking allot of cannabis back in the days, when one time walking home things just really didn’t seem to feel right, it only started a few days after smoking, I was waking up in the morning after seconds opening my eyes, vomiting, shaking endlessly, didn’t wanna speak too anyone, I was doing nothing but that routine for about 2 months, I was in college at the time, during the experience it left me no choice but to drop out.
I was made and forced to go to the doctors after a few weeks of not showing any interest, I listened to my mum and took her advice and went, they asked a lot of questions but I was too nervous to even respond, I was slowly getting my words out and explaining that I’ve smoked cannabis for a long time, they told me that paranoia has caught up to me. I went home and realised my life was on the line, I shut all my friends away, my loved ones and the family also, at the time I thought this was the correct thing to do, I was so so lonely for about 2 years, I honestly done nothing.
Finally found myself work, on agency part time just to boost confidence, they were absolutely fantastic with my health at the time, I went to the doctors months after again, doctor gave me 2 questionnaires to fill out one was for generalised anxiety and social anxiety, my reviews were absolutely awful. I was put on tablets for months and months after appointments, doctors, hospital, blood tests, counseling, etc.
One night I couldn’t take no more I was alone, heartbroken, unloved, I felt like I had nobody to help me, I wanted to end it all, but I realised the storm never stays and my bad days passed, my family and 2 friends have been absolutely phenomenal throughout my whole time and I couldn’t appreciate them enough – I honestly still can’t now.
I am on escitlopram and now my life is finally turning around, I’m going out, working more hours and catching up with my friends. Just a message from myself I am more than happy to help anyone suffering from mental health it will never last, you are strong and do not ever give up! No one deserves this and we are better than what we are, god bless you all.”
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