Caitlin, 18, Middlesbrough, UK

***** TW: Mentions Suicide, drugs *****

 

“It started when I left school and moved to a different college. I found myself wanting to change to fit in so badly, I started smoking, dressing differently and I even changed my accent just to fit in. I’d stay out every night of the week and slowly I was pushing everyone who cared about me away.

I just thought it was a teenage thing and when I went to the doctors they said the same.
My parents knew it was more when I started getting boyfriends who weren’t the best of people. I think the first time was when I was 17 and met a 26 year old with two kids who was in the army. I didn’t see anything wrong with someone 9 years older than me who didn’t live near me for over half the year. That then ended when I found out he was cheating on me the whole time.
My parents then took me to a private psychiatrist and after a lot of tests and questionnaires they diagnosed me with social anxiety and emotionally unstable personality disorder which explained my irrational behaviour, however it didn’t stop there. They prescribed me with Sertraline, which they thought would help.
In June 2018, I met someone else who I thought was lovely and even though people told me he had been in jail for armed robbery, I thought he’d changed and wanted to see the best in him – until he stole over £1,000 worth of stuff from me….
My mental health made me believe I could change him, but that wasn’t the case.
All of this still hasn’t stopped, less than 2 months ago I was in hospital for overdosing on my medication because I just couldn’t take it anymore.
It’s so hard and everyone without mental health issues doesn’t even understand how difficult every day life is.”

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1 Comment

  1. January 30, 2019 / 8:54 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story <3

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