“It started a few years back at the age of 15, I was feeling really down and felt alone, didn’t want to talk to anyone, hardly went out, stayed in my room most of the time crying and feeling alone and sleeping nearly all the time. I woke up one morning, in my head I felt like I was in a dark hole with no light and I was alone.
I have bipolar type 2 and depression and anxiety and I have special needs. My whole life I’ve been in and out of school and college, I dropped out a lot as I couldn’t cope around so many people. I never could focus on work. I lost a lot of friends and I lost myself.
I’ve been bullied most of my life, even as a little kid I never fit in anywhere and I never think I will.
I have been put away in Riverside and another hospital place out of London. I hear voices in my head and they are horrible to me and call me worthless and fat and ugly, they make me feel like Im going to get no where in life.
I went to start seeing someone at camhs for a few years and seeing a lot of doctors. Now I see a proper psychiatrist in a metal health place. I went through a bad patch, a few things happened, so I felt like I lost control of myself and my feelings and I was in and out of hospital.
How I cope with my thoughts and feelings; at the moment I rather sleep or I go out with my mum or my friends, I also like to watch movies and listen to music.
I am starting to feel better now, still get my low days but not as bad as it was before, on a lot of medication now which I find is working, been going out loads now and meeting new people.”