**** TW: Mentions Suicide/Abuse/Rape ****
“Growing up, I was physically abused by my mum. I never knew anything different growing up, I just knew I wanted to escape it all. When I was 11 I tried to kill myself. I remember my mother coming into the hospital and telling me how stupid I was for trying and she just left. After two years of trying to be heard by anyone that my mum was abusive towards me, it was a struggle. My parents both denied all allegations and I was labelled a child with anger problems.
One day my dad eventually confessed that everything I had been saying was true. Eventually, a police enquiry was opened and my mum was asked to leave the household. Two days later she killed herself.
Things became difficult between me and my dad and I was eventually moved into care. This was a particularly difficult time in my life and to cope I began to abuse drugs and alcohol. During this time I was also raped.
Growing up, my dad and I have never been particularly close and it breaks my heart because he’s the only one I have left in my life.
Today I still struggle with handling my emotions. It’s always an up and down rollercoaster. One day I’ll be doing great, the next day I’ll feel suicidal again. It’s never ending. However, I feel slowly I’m getting there. I take a lot of medication each day and I see a therapist and a psychiatrist each week. I take the time each day to practice various forms of self care. Slowly but surely, I’m sure I will get better.”
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