“I have struggled with depression, anxiety and self harm for too long to even really remember when it started now. Throw a bit of disordered eating into the mix and thats my mental state. Or it used to be.
I still struggle to this day, but I can cope and I’m getting better little by little every day.
When I was younger, I always knew I felt different that what others might have felt (more tired, down, scared, self conscious) but I believe I go professionally diagnose when I was approximately 13 (2013), after telling my family how I had been feeling for so long and how it had and was affecting me.
Before and after this diagnosis I was going to therapy, and although I am not anymore, I believe it helped me IMMENSELY and I cannot thank my family and doctors enough for actually giving me incentive to go.
I went to therapy consistently for around about 2-3 years. My first therapist was AMAZING, I loved her so much but sadly she moved back to the UK. After this I went to different therapist after different therapist, never really finding one as good as her, until the last one I went to.
I covered all this in my blog post “Don’t be ashamed to go to therapy” which you can read here: https://phoebealexandra.home.blog/2019/04/20/dont-be-ashamed-to-go-to-therapy/
I also post more about my past and continuing journey with mental health on my blog.
How I got to where I am today was anything but easy, but I knew it had to be done. I knew there had to be a better way of thinking, feeling, living than I currently was. It included a lot of “1 step forward and 2 steps back” scenarios. A lot of break downs, nasty thoughts, anxiety attacks, you name it. But in the end it turned out alright.
Honestly I was scared, in my recovery process. Scared to let go of these “things” that had been “me” for the past however many years. But the first step was realising that those things weren’t “me” and then it got easier, but still not easy.
Today, I am taking antidepressant/anxiety medication, eating regular(ish)ly and feel a whole lot better.
You can follow my journey and read more/interact with me on my blog: https://phoebealexandra.home.blog , Instagram, Youtube and Twitter“