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“My mental health spiraled out of control when my best friend took her own life in 2012. I also found out I was pregnant. I lost my baby hours before my 13 week scan! The physical & emotional pain I suffered was indescribable – I was only 18! I lost myself. I was filled with guilt. I wanted to take my own life.
Months later I found out I was pregnant with my boy. He is the reason I am here. I had new life and happiness. But, when he was born I lost myself again. I became a single parent and was studying my A-Levels. My body never “bounced back”, I had so many assignments to catch up on and I couldn’t do what any of my friends were doing.
I went on to study a degree and worked 2 part time jobs. I suffered numerous panic attacks and I had emotional breakdowns on a daily basis. It was a lot to take on. I was trying to be the best mum, get good grades & look after myself. That takes a toll on your health.
When I finished my degree I thought it would get easier. It didn’t. Trying to keep my home clean, working full time, be a good mum/girlfriend, look after my puppy and stick to the gym was SO HARD! My fitness was neglected, I felt like an awful person. I suffered anxiety attacks and horrendous mood swings. Screaming and crying were the only things I could do. I shut myself out from everyone.
In 2018, I had a full health screening through my work. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety. It took me 6 years of suffering to finally accept there was something wrong with me. Today – I’ve learnt to balance my life. I’m working on me every day!
Fitness snd being in a gym has helped me so much! I love working on me and if I’m feeling anxious the gym is the best place to be. Deep down half of my mental health issues have been related to my hatred of my body! I had a lot to juggle but I also HATED MYSELF so much and I cant love myself how did I expect everyone else to love?! But, I’m sharing the body I once hated on Instagram for the world to see. AND I’ve taken back control of my life!
I still have bad days but, whatever you go through you can survive it. Please talk to someone, no matter how hard it is. It will help. I wish I spoke up sooner & it felt good when I did!”
You can follow Jo on her Instagram.
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