“Growing up I knew I had a lot going on in my head, I just didn’t know what it was until I actually got treatment at 23 when I was diagnosed with OCD, depression, and anxiety. Since then I’ve learned so much about myself and have come across other great people who unfortunately have their own battles.
I think regardless of what condition we have, I think the one symptom we all shared at one point or another is we give better advice to others than we do to ourselves. I could never be ‘put in a box’ as my therapist would say because I had a piece of different conditions I was fighting.
Growing up in a society where men didn’t discuss their feelings and it was considered ‘weak’ to do, I had to go through a lot of this alone. Walking into social situations were quite a daunting task thinking everyone was looking or judging how I looked and acted. The default was to make people laugh because then you were liked and no one would judge you. This caused more anxiety for me to always be on the top of my game for any social interaction because I was expected to put on a show for people.
Since I had to go through a majority of my journey alone, I wouldn’t want others to feel that way. I give a lot of advice to people who come to me looking for help, yet when it comes to my own self I don’t ever turn towards myself. I put myself down constantly with self defeating tall, and I blame myself for how my life has gone. I’d never tell another person that about themselves because it’s an idea they made up in their mind due to insecurity. Yet, I can’t seem to tell myself that.
So I never really think of myself as the best version of me. I just keep trying to improve. I want others to know people understand what they’re going through and by helping them, I move closer to learning and improving my own self.”
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