*** TW Mentions Suicide Attempt***
“In 2010 I lost my mum she passed away when I was just 16 years old I thought how could any child loose a parent at just 16 years old I didn’t know how to process it or cope even though she had been so long I felt like my heart had been ripped in two so pushed it to the back of my mind until 2016 when my world came crashing down
Back in 2016 I began feeling really low in mood didn’t want to do anything, couldn’t face seeing anyone as my anxiety was so high I constantly felt like something bad was gonna happen and as a result I started avoiding friends and family just didn’t want to see anyone.
Eventually my dad made me go to the doctors and get some professional help as I was starting to my family, friends and my fiancé and it was just all to much I was prescribed medication and had some cancelling and felt a lot better for this but knew I still had a long way to go
Mid October of that year I spiralled and couldn’t see myself living anymore so decided it was best for me and my family to take and overdose as they would be much better of without me, after doing it I felt completely numb I didn’t feel any pain but I could see how hurt my family and fiancé was and when I arrived at hospital the guilt kicked in.
After being discharged from hospital I went home and felt so guilty about what I done and knew I needed to get help I needed for myself and my family as the affect it had on them was awful I got the help I needed and started to feel more normal after the mental health support I received and carried on with my life and put all my energy into family, friends and my lovely fiancé.
Fast forward to 2020 and the feeling started creeping back again I started to realise that I was going on a downward spiral again instantly had and appointment with my gp they referred me to a mental health nurse but after a bad spell over the next few months I just couldn’t see a way out of it I was hiding everything from my family, friends and fiancé.
On the 28th may 2020 I decided enough was enough and couldn’t cope I took another overdose and this time it was a bad one one minute I was on the phone to my best friend and the next minute I woke up in a hospital bed with my dad beside me and yet again the guilt kicked in I was admitted to hospital and was kept in over night
The next day I was discharged from hospital into my dads care and my best friend came and picked me up and she made me talk about everything I was feeling and we talked for ages and she just listened it was something I will always remember.
I will forever be thankful to her for coming to my rescue that night and some other friends but I truly believe that without her I wouldn’t be where I am today she is more like a sister to me, she always there to pick me up when I fall and it feels like over known her for a life time she has never once made me feel guilty about anything!.
Not even a year on I’m in a much better place I’ve switched jobs and have and incredible family, friends and a fiancé and would be lost without them
To my dad, brothers and my family Thankyou for supporting me through the toughest times of my life
To my fiancé I love you I’m learning to open up more but sometimes it’s still a struggle but know that your are my soulmate.
To everyone struggle out there who thinks they are on there own you are not alone.
I wanted to share my story to show people there is the help out there and even though you face a storm the grass is much greener I’m not gonna lie there is days where I don’t wanna get out of bed but I have that support system in my life trust your loved ones as they just want to help
Thankyou for letting me share my story and if this helps just one person I will be great full as mental health to me is not talked about enough.”
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